Lustbox: Michel Roux Jnr

Woe, woe, misery and woe. The light has gone from my weekday evenings. And when Normal Masterchef returns with Gregg the Pudding Oinker, with it will come John Torode, all Australian and shouty rather than the pale and lovely Michel Roux. Very few people get Michel-as-lustbox. He is cadaverous, pale and wears truly terrible jackets. He looks like he needs a big sandwich made of Maman’s caramelised bananas. He has the gauntness of an etiolated marathon runner who never gets out during the daytime (which he is). Despite all, he is the King of Cooking Programme Lust.

Michel has is sternness combined with (occasionally) kindly mercy, extreme delicacy and exacting standards. This is very, very sexy indeed. One would need to try very hard not to be disappointing in any way whatsoever. The pressure to achieve the highest standards of taste and presentation would be immense. Swirl those nipple tassels unevenly and see his left eyebrow raise almost imperceptibly. Let your moustache go unbleached for a day too long and see a very small moue of disappointment. Serve the sushi from your bellybutton slightly too warm and Michel might sigh, deeply, painedly. But the joy, the pure joy, of making Michel smile…oooh! Oui Chef!

Posted by Working the Look


Filed under Cooking shows, Lustbox

6 responses to “Lustbox: Michel Roux Jnr

  1. inkface

    Very good. And ‘Gregg the Pudding Oinker’ is now my favourite phrase of the week.

  2. arialbold

    All the reasons you like this gaunt terror of the kitchen are all the reasons why I shudder on seeing him.

    Mind you, he does do a very camp wide-eyed reaction shot and twitch of the head, to indicate something amiss with the preparation, which wouldn’t have gone amiss had they ever made “Carry on Mind that Chopper”.

    So that’s something.

  3. Qwerty

    I’ve not seen the programme but I do have a Roux Brothers cookbook, which is extraordinarily interesting because every recipe contains a fatal flaw, designed to trip up the amateur chef. You can hear the brothers chuckling (the Chuckle Brothers of the kitchen?) as you try and peel a one-minute cooked egg, or make a solid out of water, milk and butter. Splendid.

  4. Vanessa Kimbell

    I have to say I completely agree .. he’s seriously sexy.

  5. Michel’s new iphone app is now available at the itunes store, for more info please go to :

    The app has 67 recipes, videos, links to Michel’s three restaurants and much more.

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