I loved watching the bitching, scheming and backbiting of Footballers’ Wives, and used to mock, with smug middle-class disdain, the bling-tastically tacky houses. But I didn’t really think they were supposed to be a realistic portrayal. After watching the WAGs special of Celebrity Come Dine With Me, I realise I was a little hasty. For sure, Nicola T’s house looks more normal, but then she’s married to a Division 2 player. But in the other houses, we got a pop-up television in the bedroom covered in plush purple velvet, corrugated iron 3D wallpaper and a vast Bond-esque fish tank. Fantastic.
And what made me smile most (for some reason) was the fancy shaped, white square tableware and accessories, such as dinky little matching jugs. You get these on MasterChef when they are testing if contestants know how to present posh food.
But here, what we got plonked in it from the acidic Jude was Angel Delight (‘Delice d’Ange’). It was supposed to have been white chocolate fondue, but that went into a hard sticky mess. Served with the ‘Delice’ were chopped up pieces of exotic fruits, like passion fruit (which she herself described as looking like snot) and physalis (‘sounds like syphilis doesn’t it?). I didn’t like Jude one bit. She seemed to possess a vastly over-inflated opinion of herself, and came across as bitchy, snobby and dishonest. She served up ‘papaya salad’ with her Thai fishcakes (pronounced ‘thigh’ by one of her guests) which was actually cucumber – then blatantly lied about it.
Shots from her Hello! wedding were blown up on the wall and the guests asked why she’d done it. “It was the most wonderful day of my life and I wanted to share it with the world!” I was looking for smoke emerging from her pants at that point.
Luckily, and it was a wise choice by the producer, ex-page 3 model and Celeb BB contestant, Nicola T, was also present. “If I did it, it would be for the money” she said. Nikki is an excellent under-cutter of lies and self-delusion. I loved that for her night she asked them all to dress as fairies, which Jude hated. Even better, I love it that she won.
Posted by Inkface