Pineapple Dance Studios: Much highlier trained

Andrew Stone’s tips for enduring beauty: (1) A little bit of what you fancy does you good and (2) Aloe vera applied after shaving acts like a face-lift. Not that Andrew needs a face-lift.

What Andrew needed was a backing singer, following the departure of Rosalee. New bezzie mate Cleo Rocos trawled through her address book looking for likely duetting partners. “Lily Allen?” she pondered. Andrew was thrilled – Lily Allen would be perfect. Cleo disagreed. “Robbie Williams?” was her next suggestion, and Andrew was more than willing to countenance the Robster adding a few shoo-wops and aahs to the Starman sound (presumably as long as Mr Williams stayed at the back of the stage and didn’t hog the spotlight).

Cleo, however, had a better idea. David Van Day. You know – superstar David Van Day. He was in Dollar, and made a real arse of himself on I’m A Celebrity. Cleo felt he was rather like an older Andrew, and would be a splendid mentor. And once they met, Andrew had to agree. What a spiffingly brilliant, loving, giving chap David was (even though he criticised Andrew’s fashion sense and tried to get him to wear a suit, which Andrew felt would be a bit too Spandau Ballet). Yes, David’s a great guy, and very, very similar to Andrew himself. “Only I’m much highlier trained in dancing,” Andrew said. Of course he is. That’s a given.

This week we met Louie Spence’s nephew Lotan. He’s a 21 year old window cleaner, but he can do the splits almost as well as his uncle. In fact Lotan could be a pretty good dancer if only he could be faffed. Turning up at Pineapple for his first dance class in three years, Lotan found it hard to keep up with the people who – gasp – train there regularly. He wanted Louie’s partying with celebs lifestyle but wasn’t prepared to put the sweat in first, apparently.

Louie was meanwhile showing off his pirouetting skills while taking the piss out of a man who wanted to run a swordfighting class at the Studios. “I’m a fully trained baton twirler!” Louie chirped, spinning his wooden sword expertly round.  The swordfighting teacher didn’t share Louie’s sense of humour, and told him off for brandishing his weapon inappropriately.  He was never going to last long at Pineapple with that attitude.

Posted by PLA          (more Pineapple posts here)

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