Daily Archives: January 14, 2010

Emmerdale: A Wylde Ending


“What’s going on!?” a confused Katie asked a rather stressed looking Natasha Wylde this evening.

“It’s a long story!” replied Natasha. She’s not wrong. Tonight was a culmination of a year long saga. Here’s a brief summary:

Natasha loves Mark. Natasha has three children with Mark: Maisie, Nathan and Will. Mystery redhead turns up. She hates Mark. Mark isn’t called Mark, he’s actually Daniel and still married to redhead, called Faye, whom he left while pregnant and faked his own death. This boy, Ryan is all grown up, arrives and knows nothing. Natasha finds out. Natasha now hates Mark. Faye loves Mark again. Natasha forgives Mark. Mark has an affair with Faye. Natasha suspects. Ryan falls in love with Maisie, his half sister. Natasha catches Faye and Mark out.

If you’ve been able to keep up with all of that over the twelve months then tonight’s pay off was surely worth the wait. No soap does dramatic showdowns quite like Emmerdale and there were spectacular performances all round as Natasha found out that her husband was a cheat, Faye found out he was a selfish worm, Nathan saw his family fall apart, Ryan discovered his dead dad was alive and a slimeball and Maisie discovered that she was minutes away from sleeping with her brother.

So it was an average day in Emmerdale and no explosive showdown would be complete without another villager becoming a murderer. It was the turn of fiesty Natasha, played wonderfully by Amanda Donohoe who entered the woods to stop Mark shooting himself. However, when she found out his suicide plans were just a ruse to get some more sympathy, the red mist descended and she turned the gun on him in a glorious twist and put the git out of his misery.

Of course, this is Natasha Wylde and she even murders in a classy way. With a background of relaxing/chilling classical music playing, Natasha turned her back and trotted away in her high heels, without a backwards glance.

That's what you get...

Once you can forgive the master of wooden acting Maxwell Caulfield (yes the guy with the terrible American accent from Casualty and the lead from Grease 2. The less said about that the better!)  from delivering some occasionally cringey and hilarious performances and facial grimaces, this was top rate drama from some fine actors.

So with faked deaths, incest, punch ups, botched suicides, showdowns and murder it was a normal day in Emmerdale. Now that we’ve moved on from this, we can look forward to next week where we have a crazed stalker being hit by a speeding car.

Who said village life was quiet!?

Posted by Our Man in the North

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Nurse Jackie: Sick, but in a good way

I am loving this series. It’s a cornucopia of sick delights. Last night I watched Tiny Bubbles, the episode in which a friend and former nurse colleague of Jackie with lung cancer comes into the hospital to die. Sentimental and weepy? Nah. She’s as sweet as a mouthful of borax, and our first glimpse is when she’s coughing her guts up, puffing away on a fag. “What’s the problem. It’s gonna kill me?” Since she’s dying, in fact she’s come to Jackie to ask her to kill her, she couldn’t care less what she says to anyone, which is very amusing.

She calls administrator Mrs Akalitus a naughty four letter word. I know someone saying ‘cunt’ funny is neither big nor clever, but do you know what, it’s actually one of my favourite words. Not said by men about women in a misogynist way obviously, but precisely when used in such a shocking context as an American hospital drama by someone who is dying. It undercuts everything I hate about cloying, over simplistic nonsense often found in hospital dramas (even House can be guilty of this sometimes). 

And in this context, when addressed to the picture of grace and loveliness that is actor Anna Deavere Smith (whom I last spotted playing the gracious, smart National Security Advisor, Nancy McNally on the West Wing) I found it so amusing I spat tea out of my mouth. Admittedly the character of Mrs A is a very long way from Nancy, but like everyone on this show, she’s complex and ambiguous. The nightmare clip-board wielding administrator who has moments of being decent.

Student Nurse Zoey tussles with her conscience about being involved or not in the planned assisted death. Nurse Jackie’s has sequestered copious amounts of something from her pharmacist shagbuddy (about which I do spent moments thinking ‘really? Sex standing up, whilst wearing scrubs?’ It’s the most far-fetched thing about this show for me). In the end, the staff  gather around and drink  champagne (drug-laced for the nurse I guess) whilst she gives a toast of: “Fuck you all, and here’s to me”.  Jackie then grabs the hospital priest from the bedside of another dying patient (“He has ten minutes left and I need you for five”) to give her the Last Rites. Beautiful.

Posted by Inkface

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