It was Interview Week on the Apprentice. This means that a sprinkling of Sralan’s close personal chums (including that man from Viglen with the beautiful eyes for whom this is surely turning into an annual treat) get to sit behind desks being nasty to the candidates.
The first Apprentice to get his marching orders this week was – well, the clue’s in the gender. Last man standing James had tried in vain to rebrand himself from being merely “dim” to being “a joker.” No-one thought he was funny, everyone spotted he was dim, and he had to go. For some reason, this made Debra cry. The cynical among us might have interpreted this as Debra’s last-ditch attempt to rebrand herself from “cow” to “caring,” but it didn’t work. She was already hoist with her own petard as she’d been daft enough to supply references which painted, in colourful terms, a woman who was almost impossible to get on with.
Lorraine, aka Stroke Woman (in the early episodes of this series she was often to be seen slumped in the corner of the back seat of a people carrier looking for all the world like she’d fail the FAST test) had some very odd moments during the interviews in which she seemed to be possessed by the spirit of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted. When quizzed about her famous intuition she twice lapsed into a strange Irish brogue. Karren Brady was obviously a tiny bit spooked. “She’d drive you mad,” one of the male interrogators told Sralan. Ah, she will, she will, she will.
So Stroke Woman was left to slump in the back corner of a black cab and drool her way home, leaving us with the creme de la creme of this year’s intake – “robotic” Kate, who doesn’t get on with women because they’re too emotional, and Yasmina, who owns a restaurant but seems to be a crap cook (as evidenced by Nibbles Week) and is creative with the financial facts.
Normally in the final week of the Apprentice, Sralan gets the finalists to stage a big corporate event. This time he’s wisely decided to keep them off the streets and they’ll be “creating” a new box of chocolates, with the help of all the losers brought back specially to help or hinder.
Sweet as Sugar.