Of course not. The start of the Christine Mulgrew Era, despite the loss of Cockney Lorraine and her ever-changing dress codes and the loss of Michael Byrne and his miserable face, was as mad as a box of frogs.
Carol Barry, unhappy that elder daughter Dynasty has plumped for a life of book learnin’ and domestic bliss with junior mobile app magnate Kevin Chalk, phoned up a fictional version of Jeremy Kyle to volunteer to air the Barry laundry on daytime TV. I can’t help thinking that if only Dynasty had mentioned the Chalk App Millions, Carol would have been rather more well disposed towards young Kevin and would have been off sourcing a fascinator from a store with lightish security in preparation for the wedding.
Barry Barry, ever one for a money-making opportunity himself, laid on a mini bus to take half the school to join the audience of ‘Noble Thoughts.’ We’ll leave the issue of the TV studio’s lax door policy to one side (teachers just bobbing in and out practically at will) and focus on the show itself, which would have had Ofcom in uproar and the Daily Mail self-combusting. Kevin thought he was there to help Dynasty confront her issues with her mother, but the show was angled at him being a nasty little family-wrecker, and just to underline how dreadful he was, they’d dredged up his own horrible mother to tell everyone what a monster he really was. The point of this was to make Carol look like a paragon of maternal virtue, which she succeeded in doing stylishly by punching Kevin’s mother on stage. Kevin was embraced into the Barry family bosom and was invited for tea. Everyone bonded around a feast of Generic Fried Chicken. Continue reading