Category Archives: True Blood
True Blood 312: Cementing its reputation
A brief survey of the several million True Blood fan-sites reveals that most viewers were disappointed by this season finale, ending as it did with more cliff-hangers than a very big cliff-wardrobe. Certainly some of the pacing and denouements were rather odd. However, there was also plenty to enjoy in an episode in which Maxine Fortenberry described Jessica as that ‘red-headed dead girl’. Continue reading
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True Blood 311: Walking into sunshine
Everyone was in need of counselling this week. A freelance Mississippi therapist could have strolled in and made a killing. Not literally, of course; that they can leave to Russell.
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True Blood 310: How fucking lame
Warning! This review contains a jolly big spoiler… After last week’s superlative episode it was going to be a challenge for this one to match up, and it didn’t. (That’s not the spoiler, by the way.) Continue reading
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True Blood 309: Now time for the weather… Tiffany?
Episode of the series! I know I’ve probably given this accolade to other episodes already, but this really was a corker.
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True Blood 308: Cry me a river
Everyone cried buckets in this episode. It was a mass waterworks, or in some cases, bloodworks. Bill started it when Sookie broke up with him. As ground for the split she could have cited her hospitalisation owing to him having drained her entire blood supply, but focused instead on them not being a normal couple. Well, yeah Sook: he’s dead. Sookie’s eyes also ran with tears, but who noticed them when Bill cried so much blood he resembled a member of Kiss? Continue reading
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True Blood 307: A sad man in saggy pants
We galloped into this episode with the same thundering pace of last week: Sookie and Tara teaming up telepathically to overpower the wildly irritating Debbie, Alcide putting a silver bullet in the horrible Cooder, and everyone dragging Bill into Alcide’s van and tearing off across the manicured lawn, running over a werewolf or two en route. Blimey, I said, and not for the last time, as I steadied my nerves with a slug of Babysham. Continue reading
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True Blood 306: Kill Bill gories up a notch
Hot on the heels of the most amusing episode, this was the most tense episode – possibly ever, but certainly in this series. My stomach was in knots from the start, and my dreams were filled with blood and torture. Terrific stuff, chaps – keep up the good work! As well as being stressful, this episode raised as many questions than it answered. Which was no mean feat, as it answered a lot of questions an’ all.
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True Blood 305: Watch how fast I can type motherf***er
Everyone coupled up this week. Bill was still reluctantly stuck with Lorena, and Terry moved in with Arlene. ‘I’m the luckiest man in the world,’ he sighed dreamily, as she stood bitchin’ at the front door. Continue reading
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True Blood 304: Itching for another Inquisition
In rather shocking fashion – not that I should be shocked by True Blood anymore – Bill broke up with Sookie over the phone. An’ ah thought he wuz a gen’leman! He told her the gory details about his shag with Lorena, though omitted the goriest detail: that he turned Lorena’s head 180 degrees in mid-congress. Continue reading
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True Blood 303: Another rug ruined
Even before the credits, Eric violently savaged a werewolf in Sookie’s house. What IS it with that house? Makes Amityville look like a retirement home for gentlefolk. Sookie ought to just redecorate in red, it’d save so much on Mr Muscle. Eric was unrepentant that he’d added to the mess. ‘I got your rug all wet,’ he growled, through a faceful of werewolf blood. Continue reading
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