(Series 14, Ep.5) If you went looking for the Human Resources department at Holby City Hospital, you’d probably find a couple of stoned people giggling and making model ambulances out of Lego. This is the only explanation for the rather surreal approach to staffing which finds nurses hired on the spot, resignations accepted or not depending on the Director of Surgery’s whim, and doctors being allowed to carry on working even though they either aren’t qualified (Oliver) or maim people on a regular basis (Dan).
And it’s the only explanation for theatre liaison manager Gillian Kavanagh (Moya Brady). We were led to believe that Ms Kavanagh had just returned from a period of extended leave caused by either (a) back pain or (b) depression caused in part by Michael Spence insulting her at a barbecue. Had she been theatre liaison manager before? What, exactly, was a theatre liaison manager? Gillian interpreted her role as basically annoying as many surgeons as possible in the shortest possible time.
This was all part of Hanssen’s micro management of the hospital, and frankly it didn’t work. When a deputation, headed up by Sahira Shah the Registrah, informed him that they’d done quite well without Ms Kavanagh last week and they can definitely do without her next week, he told his staff that the power was now in their hands. Alone again in his plush office, he lifted the cover off his birdcage. Was it now time to let the symbolic bird fly free across the rooftops of The Hollywood of Hertfordshire? He opened the window a tad, and then thought better of it. Either he’s just grown awfully fond of his little feathered friend and doesn’t want to wave it goodbye, or the scriptwriters were telling us that he hasn’t quite loosened his grip on our favourite hospital just yet.
Meanwhile, down on AAU, who’s that hunk with the broken wrist? Why, it’s none other than the Actor with the Fabulous Name, Lex Shrapnel. AKA Gay Nurse Stephen, who when last seen was doing his level best to prise Dull Dan out of the closet. Any regular viewer could guess what happened next. Chrissie grinned a lot and remained totally oblivious to the fact that her fiance and GNS kept giving each other Meaningful Glances. Dull Dan allowed his judgement to be clouded (what, Dan? No! Surely not) and let GNS walk out of the hospital with a hideously unstable fracture (which he seemed to get bandaged up somewhere between the ward and the car park). Dull Dan then pursued GNS to his taxi, where Irish Dr Greg spotted GNS giving DD an affectionate peck on the cheek, which made him Wonder.
Michael Spence continued his rehabilitation to All Round Good Guy by personally paying for an operation for a man whose surgery had been bumped by Gillian Kavanagh. The fact that the man turned out to be a con man provided amusement for The Malick and Young Dr Oliver Valentine and provided my favourite line of the night (possibly even better than Hanssen’s imaginary children, “Little Benny, Bjorn and Agnetha”). “He owes £30 grand. How do you rack up that sort of debt?” Malick wondered. Chantelle knew: “Catalogues,” she said.
Like Hanssen and his bird/tight grip on the hospital, Jac was not ready to let Baby Freya go. She feels personally responsible for the wee nipper (did the baby actually say “Mama” at Jac? I think so) and pretended she needed a scan rather than let her go to foster parents. I’m thinking it can only end in tears, and if she really wanted a baby to play with I’m sure Joseph would welcome her to Penrith, where they could play happily with baby whatever-his-name-was.
Next time: Oliver is in charge of orthopaedics, Greg and Sahira have to work together, and Malick has to ask Michael for help.
Posted by PLA (more Holby City here)