Sookie and Jason were only gone a few days, but they returned to find Bon Temps in chaos: litter everywhere, drunken people staggering in front of cars, huge edifices of rotting meat hanging from hooks. It was nearly as bad as outside Essex Kebab and Pizza in Basildon on a Saturday night, but Sookie barely noticed. She was too distracted by sexy dreams of Eric, despite her beloved Bill by her side. Admittedly he was lying in a coffin which made it harder to concentrate on his charms.
They found Tara, tied to a chair but still spitting and being mean, undergoing what Lafayette described as ‘the worst intervention in history’. Sookie and Bill used a double-act of their glamour/ telepathy talents to remove her black contact-lenses. Tara resisted for a while, with Lafayette deploying increasingly desperate one-liners, such as, ‘if ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this is it.’ Finally, in a burst of superb special effects, Tara’s black eyes disappeared. She was then so full of remorse, even hugging Lettie Mae, that I wished she would fall under Maryann’s influence again.
Bill and Sookie went to see what kind of mess Maryann had made of Sookie’s house. Answer: a reasonable amount. Sookie will probably want to get professionals in. Bill munched Maryann, then wished he hadn’t, as her blood was black and yucky-tasting. But Sookie warded her off with a strange new power, a lighting-up hand, which puzzled Maryann as much as the rest of us. ‘What are you?’ Maryann kept asking Sookie, and my mind reeled with sarcastic replies.
On the way home Bill, full of bravado, despite spitting up black blood, said, ‘I will kill her!’ ‘Good’, said Sookie. Then underminingly added, ‘how?’